Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Bright lights in the big city...deux

I am absolutely convinced that I am coming down with something. My throat continues to be on fire, and now I have a bit of congestion. Argh. I could barely get out of bed this morning. I set my alarm to 5 and snoozed all the way to 7am. I must be tired. I am even yawning as I write this. In fact, I think I will take my happy self to bed very early tonight, and start everything I have planned on Tuesday.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Bright lights in the big city...

I finally went to Las Vegas. It wasn't a pleasure trip. I was sent by my boss to learn how to code better and make money so really most of my time was spent in a teaching class and i am very proud to say that I didn't fall asleep once.

I did get a chance to go for a spot of sightseeing after the class. I really dragged my feet but eventually at around 6pm, I was ready to leave the hotel. The hotel where I stayed was close to the monorail and bus so getting to the strip was super easy. I bought a 24 hour pass and I was good. My initial plan was to go to Bellagio and see the water show, the conservatory and then from there go to the outlet shops to see what i could see. However, and these people who built the monorail are very very brillant people, in fact, they need to get a genius grant for being good at separating tourists and their money because I was completely derailed once I got off the train at the stop for Bally's. As you, my one beloved reader, may or may not know, I have been searching desperately for this shoe:
Jessica Simpson Marcie wedge in blue suede: shoemall.com

which is to be the perfect complement to my aso ebi that I plan to wear for a friend's wedding in May. (Aso ebi in pure yoruba means family clothes/material. In the past, family members would buy and sew the same material for an event. However, all that has changed with modern times and all and mostly friends, close friends, close enemies, pure strangers and whoever got d cash, buy and sew the material if invited ). 

The shoe was basically sold out everywhere in my size. I became a true no size in London. When I saw the shop Satisfy my sole I thought maybe they would have my shoe so I walked in and almost never made it out again. Wow. I saw so many shoes I liked it was ridiculous, the price for some of those shoes were even more ridiculous. I got a great deal! 3 shoes, one by L.A.M.B, one by BCBG, and a random shoe all for less than $100. I was too happy! Am still pretty high off the coup. 

I was there so long that even the storekeepers were making fun of me. But who cared, I was a woman on a mission. It gets better. So i finally fought my way out of the jungle of shoes calling and begging me to take them home bought my shoes and left. I kept looking for the Bellagio but it was across the street from where i was and i couldn't figure out how to cross. I kept walking forward and ended up in another jungle, err mall. Again, I began searching for my shoes. I found something very ok exactly similar in Bebe but as always they didn't have my size. I kept trekking away  and next i know, I was in Wild Pair and the next I know, I found my shoes, one in turquoise, and the other in the exact shade of blue I was looking for. The turqoise was more true to the inspiration, it had the thin strap and etc, while the blue was closer to the color i had envisioned AND the price was lower. The very lovely, wonderful, kind storekeeper, named Marc found my shoes (after first admonishing me for being so negative, what can i say, i had been turned down and rejected for so long that i had come to believe that the shoe wasn't made for a size ten feet like mine). anyway, he found mah SHOE and I was high for the rest of the night. I had a fun time in that store. I tried on that shoe several times. Even though I knew in my heart of hearts it was a done deal, I tried to talk myself out of it because i was feeling a bit impulsive and crazy and giddy from spending so much money in such a short span of time. Be that as it may, those shoes were going home with ME. I must say this, maybe cos most people are not from vegas or the copious amt of alcohol but strangers sure are friendly in vegas. i had many an aider and abettor in my quest to acquire shoes. Anyway, this chick took it upon herself to convince me to buy my shoes. It was hilarious to no end. I had a blast and i bought my shoes. I can't wait to put the outfit together. I already ordered the cluctch from ASOS. I think i am overdoing the blue thing so i need for my accessories to be not blue. No clue yet. pink faux diamond earrings??? pink cocktail ring? gold accessories? no idea. I do know that my hair is going to be a huge fro and i need to get the skin on my legs glowing. and oh yeah, have to lose my belly and get my arms and legs super toned. 

i must look hot! This is my coming out party so to speak. I am working hard on reinventing myself and i can't wait to show off the effort. 

i have to be very serous about my workout from here on out. So I went to Gap and I tried on their pants, and I could fit in their size 8 pants. The storekeeper, another marc rei'marc was extremely nice and helpful to me. 

The mere fact that i could fit in the size 8 pants has been a great motivator. I know there is lots of room for improvement but i feel encouraged, because the scale and how I felt was not correlating at all.  I have decided to work at it for the next two months. My diet is still going to be a struggle but in looking over my old workout logs, i learrned that i was really pushing myself back then. I was talking about doing 5 mile workouts and running on the treadmill at much higher speeds than i have been doing now. i am very capable and i need to stop babying myself. 

I am falling asleep as I type. damn southwest for not letting me fly standby. 

I will continue this later. 

Friday, February 24, 2012

And the point is...

Whoa, life got busy there.

Crazy week. Good for business but not good for my me time. Sometimes I wish I could breathe think dream medicine, then I wouldn't resent it for taking all my time from me. It always seems to come first, takes over, and pushes everyone and everything else out. Sigh.

But all things must come to an end, and just like that *snaps fingers*, its Friday already and here I am waiting for my flight to Vegas. Wish I were going for pleasure, I have a work conference to attend. Nevertheless, am excited a bit. I have never ever ever been in Vegas, flown over Vegas, driven through Vegas or even looked at Vegas. I was supposed to go with a co-worker but due to drama and shenanigans, am going by myself. I am kind of happy about that, cos I was kind of dreading going with this person. But, at the same time, this means I really have to get out of my shy mode and make an effort to visit a place or two on Sunday. I was thinking of maybe thrifting but am not sure.

Speaking of which, I took a risk and visited a thrift store on the way to the airport. I saw a pretty decent looking wingchair for $30. Needs some reupholstering though to fit into my space. I didn't grab it cos I was on the way to the airport plus I had to see a man about a horse so could barely stand still. I just googled reupholstering costs and it seems like it might be super super expensive so forget it.

Still on the hunt for a console for my "foyer." I think I might go the Target route instead of the Goodwill route. I found some decent looking stuff for under $100 while browsing this morning. And then I took a detour from my simple wood style type console to dreaming about glass or lucite consoles. Like this one:
Target.com. Respite Console
or this one
Bombay Console Table
or this one...
Mecca Console Table

But the price for all of these are out of my budget. So it's all just wishful thinking for now...

Am hungry but am afraid that if I get up from my seat, I will lose it. Besides, I doubt I will find anything healthy to eat here. At last, my flight has been called. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Gongo Aso...

For once I didn't wake up with a song in my head. I woke up instead to my phone ringing but I thought it was my alarm. My first reaction was already, am not ready! I tend to leave my phone, which is my alarm and my ipod, also my alarm outside the room so i will actually get out of bed. Anyway, I picked it up, saw i had a missed call from nigeria. Wondered why they always call me at the crack of dawn, read my email, ignored another najia phone call, continued reading my email including a devotional that i usually avoid, felt convicted, read another devotional felt more conviction and then finally checked the time and saw it was 5:45! Big hiss. What!! I could have slept for another 30 minutes! I had been got.

I need every ounce of sleep because honestly, I have been wavering between hungry at night and exhausted at work. I fell asleep at my desk for the second time in a row yesterday. No, I don't have the nine month flu. Last night was a battle! I was hungry, HUNGRY! For dinner, I had ewa (nigerian beans) now anyone who knows me knows I HATE BEANS. YUCK. But, my cousin bought me a bag of beans and a bag of gari when she came to Miami last summer. The beans had been sitting there forever, except for when i made moin-moin for my new year's day feast a un or is it une? Anyway.

I was pretty carefree about what i ate this weekend, including a whole box of crackers (but we won't discuss that), so i have decided to be disciplined this week, the last week in Feb so i can sustain my goal being under 180. To that end, i decided to eat beans instead of rice with my stir fries. And to finally cook my nigerian beans. If i may say so myself, it came out pretty well. I searched for a recipe online but I finally just made it mine. I boiled some beans, added some salt, maybe too much and added blended pepper to it (bell pepper, plum tomato and onion 1 each). I cooked it to the consistency I liked, NOT MUSHY and it was quite delicious and didn't take any time at all. I had that for dinner last night and when the hunger pangs wouldn't let me sleep, another for a late night snack. It was yummy! Hey, at least it wasn't gari and sugar!

Sunday was not a bad day at all in retrospect. I went to church. I even went to bible study at four. I was so reluctant. I really do hate leaving my house. I am such a housebody. As always, I was the only one of me there. Not married, no children, african. Ok, there were two other singles there but mostly the women were all married with four children! Will I fit in? I am worried and I don't want to go back, but i already paid my money for the book so i can't run away. And I cooked. that in itself was a struggle cos i just wanted to sit on the couch and look for my shoes for the wedding in may and surf aimlessly, God deliver me. Anyway, I cooked.

I was creative this time around and didn't follow any recipes (cos i was lazy). Just took what I had in the fridge and cooked it before it went bad. I had left over mustard greens and spinach so i made a tomato/red pepper/greens stir fry. I plan to eat that with black beans. I boiled some chicken breast cos i was too lazy to chop it up, then added broccoli to the pot and let it steam. Maybe dinner. My aforementioned beans. Hmm, i don't have enough different meals for the week. I just have to worry about wednesday and thursday though cos am going away for a work conference on Friday-Sunday.

So sleepy, the temperature has dipped again and I feel cold. I need a vacation! I need a rich husband so i don't have to work. i think i abuse commas, and i hate capitalization. I can't be perfect jo. Free me!

Monday, February 20, 2012

It's a conscious style decision. ..

Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight, oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer. Psalm 19:13-14

My devotional from Joyce Meyers on Sunday and again today re-emphasized something that I keep forgetting: the amazing creative power of the tongue. I've always said the above verse in church as part of the parting benediction/grace but it wasn't until today that the words truly hit me. We are made in God's image and just like Him, we have the ability to create things out of nothing through our tongues. Meditate on that for a minute.

It is still a mystery to me but as I've gotten older, I have realized that what we say and what we think matters.  As my driving teacher once told me, we drive towards what we see. I figure it must be the same for what we say and what we think. The words we say and think tend to be programmed into us and eventually become reality. I have seen this firsthand in many aspects of my life. I work in a busy practice and I've found that whatever I say about work that morning in my quiet time is what will manifest that day, without fail. I saw this throughout residency as well, I would declare before each call night that it would be a good night and sure enough it would be.

Likewise, what we consume mentally and what we see visually matters as well, Just like with our thoughts, what we see or read about or focus on intently will become programmed into our conscious or subconscious. God help me with this one.

There was a time that I would spend all my free time surfing the web, (ok, that time hasn't changed yet). Anyway, i was addicted to gossip sites until I saw that it was becoming a bit much and so i had to pull back. I replaced that addiction with fashion blogs, home decor blogs and television without pity. I visited these sites on a daily basis. As far as the home decor/fashion blogs went, I would download to my computer all the things that I really liked. Who knows what I was downloading to my subconscious mind when I would dilligently read all the sarcastic and hilarious comments about my favorite shows on television without pity?

Do you know that three years later I can see the manifestations of those images in my home? There are times when I go shopping at Ross/Target/Marshalls that I find myself strongly drawn to one object or the other. Later, when I go home and google that object, i find that three years ago or even three months ago, I had seen that same thing on one of my many web addictions. These occurrences emphasized again to me the importance of consciously watching what i take in through my eyes, and ears as well as what i put out through my mouth.

My prayer this week is that God will put a hot coal to my lips and purify the words coming from my mouth, as well as purify the secret thoughts of my heart. Amen in Jesus name.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Phillipians 4:8

Sunday, February 19, 2012

My week in review and in forward motion.

Last Monday, I took the time to write down a few goals that I wanted to accomplish for myself.

Work related, I promised myself to write two handouts for my patients. I started to, and realized that all the work had already been done for me on an amazing site called healthychildren.org. So I've decided to just print what I need and give it to those parents who are interested.

My personal goals were more extensive.

Visit a thrift store three times this week--  I guess I should clarify why. Basically, my ultimate goal is to transform my apartment into a beautiful place that I love by June 2012. However with my huge consumer debt, am kind of on a limited budget so I can't buy out HomeGoods like I want to, therefore thrifting was my solution. However, I was frustrated because I never find anything good except books. Last week, I discovered Mr GoodwillHunting's blog and i salivated over and coveted his finds and wondered why i wasn't ever so lucky. Apparently others had had the same reaction so he posted his secret to success, visit stores often! I have already blogged about my finds on day 1 and day 2.

Saturday after work I travelled to the west side of town. It has a really different vibe from the East side which is brand new. The west side is the richer part of town, also it's older and more established. Anyway, the Goodwill over there was pretty big. I was only going to spend $10 but I walked out $23 lighter. What did I buy? Glad you asked.

A vase for my guest bathroom
A clock for my own bathroom
I really need to stop walking into the books section of the thrift store. Sigh. But I love books! Ok, must only buy classic novels and books from authors I really really love.

No more gari and sugar (whenever i say this, i think of my beloved nephew. When he was a talking baby, he would ask for this, and since he never ate, we would gladly give it to him). I successfully avoided gari and sugar and discovered popcorn and honey roasted peanuts and then popcorn and chocolate chip morsels. But since that wasn't on the avoid list, I earned my reward. However, I spent it on my books so no gift from Sephora or Ulta for me. This week: no gari and sugar, and no popcorn with additives, in fact, no snack period that doesn't involve a naked fruit. There that should cover any loophole my sneaky mind can find.

Get my car texasified--big fat fail on that one!

Write a 1000 words daily on the outline for my future novel tentatively called The Cheat Reflex. I did really well except for Friday or Saturday. Friday, I was drained from the drama at work and just sat on my couch and read a novel in paper format instead. Saturday, I was obsessively trying to find my shoes and figure out how to make my hair pop for my dear friend's wedding in May. But the outline is almost done, so I will continue with it this week, and I hope to start fleshing it out by the end of this week.

Research Solar panels, I found some things but I could have spent more time doing that.

No aimless websurfing--AH! Still working on this so this will be the goal for next week as well.

Design my parents new house for them. I decided to break that down into smaller tasks. I've been finding some cool stuff that I have pinned to my pinterest board.

Weight wise, my goal is to hit 176 this week. Luckily, I have finally hit the point where am hooked on running. Kept thinking of going for a run all day Saturday. Maybe this week I will increase my run days to 5 days/week. Need some good music!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

never mind i'll find, someone like you

I fell asleep on the couch last night, sitting up with my laptop close beside me. I was trying to bang out my 1000 words for the day. But I had wasted so much time surfing aimlessly and i couldn't get into the space. Still I kept going because I was determined not to give up so soon. As it turns out, useless web surfing is one of the things that is on my DO NOT list. What is aimless surfing? It is when you just sit on the computer and aimlessly go from random site to random site, reading things you have no business reading and wasting precious time. And my time is particularly precious cos i don't get home till after 7 sometimes and my goal is to be in bed at 11pm so i can wake up at 6 and do it all again.

Today is a half day yay. three more work days left, i consider thursday to be my hump day.
i need to get my act together today and get my car registered and all that. i am getting paranoid now everytime a police car or even a mustang (cos for some odd reason, mustangs are the police car of choice out here) is behind me, i panic wondering if this is it, if an going to be pulled over for violation of  some sort. I can't live like that, willl get my act together today! I also have to complain to the management. it is pure cold air coming through my window as we speak. they put up these apts so fast, the least they could have done is use double glazed glass. i have decided, am not renewing my lease. but i hate moving so who knows if I will stay.

In more yay worthy news, I finally made it to under 180, which was my goal for the end of this month. My reward was to go on a mini shopping spree but I have decided to wait until 170 for that. If I work out aggressively and eat very well, I think I can hit that in 4 weeks. I need to step up my running to 5 days a week starting next week. I think that my couch to 5K program is coming to an end very soon, in fact I think I have just 4 more left to go. I was thinking that after that I will start working on improving my speed. I am presently able to comfortably run at a 12:30 pace, maybe 12:15 or whatever is in between 12:00 pace. As always, I find that when I am well hydrated it is easier for me to run longer. Must put a cup of water by my bed tonight.

I wonder what I should get as a treat for coming in under 180 finally.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Every day I'm shuffling...

I felt very good this morning. For the first time in a long time, I resisted the late night snack monster and the late night procrastinator monster, and all the monsters that prevent me from doing the things that I should be doing.

I publicly gave up gari and sugar right here on this blog as of last Friday. I even drew a crude incentive chart and put it on my fridge. I check it off every morning if I manage to stay gari free the night before. Of course, being the cheater that I am, I originally replaced the gari, sugar habit with popcorn and honey roasted peanuts. Yes, I did. But last night was the first time I didn't eat anything extra aside from my dinner. Like my mommy always said whenever i was still hungry after a meal, drink water. So i drank water and took myself to bed.

I think I am begining to feel good about my present weight. I feel lighter in my body, I don't feel as constricted and bloated and FAT as I had been feeling before I started exercising regularly. My clothes are looser, even my ring the alarm old navy pants. (My ring the alarm pants, so I bought some pants from old navy last spring. I wasn't feeling them, they were too loose and a bit high waterish, I kept meaning to return them but didn't and finally, I took them out of my car and into my apartment. Anyway, long story short, they became a part of my work wardrobe. When I moved to El Paso, I tried to wear one of them to work and DIED when I realized I couldn't pull the pants over my thigh. Those pants were too baggy and now I couldn't wear them! I knew I was in serious trouble then. Those pants rung the alarm.)

I think once I hit that feeling, it was easier to say no to the popcorn calling my name last night, plus the fact that am just 4 pounds away from my goal has really encouraged me to do better.

Secondly, I finally bought fruit, just apples and oranges. They look super pretty in my blue bowl plus it's easy to eat one when i feel that need for sugar.

On Monday, I wrote down a few personal and work related goals that I wanted to accomplish for the week. For work, I wanted to write two handouts for my patients. For personal goals, there are a ton but two salient ones were: writing 1000 words daily and visiting thrift stores three times a week.

As far as the thrift store, I visited one on Monday and saw a few things I liked but couldn't pull the trigger. But today, I got two things. First, I finally got a scale!!!! So no more sneaking into the triage room at work to weigh myself. Best part, it was just $10. I was worried cos it was in a sealed box and I wasn't allowed to open it, but the cashier assured me that I could return it if there were any issues. I brought it home, set it up and it WORKED! And it is accurate. Best part of everything is that I saw a similar model at BBB for 30-40 bucks.

Then I saw this gold bamboo frame for $7.99. Please ignore the picture of the cat. I bought it for the frame which was love at first sight. I've seen the bamboo look on random decor blogs so when I saw this I was excited. I plan to put it in my foyer with my future console which I have yet to find anywhere. I have this vision of a putting a mirror in it and hanging it width wise. I am not sure how I am going to pull the mirror thing off yet. If anyone has any suggestions please share, thanks.

I'll stop here.  Need to go work on my thousand words before bed tonight.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Random beyond Random

I think i might be coming down with something. When I woke up this morning, my throat was on fire. I hope I don't end up losing my voice. It's so cold, so cold, so cold. But I just did a quick estimate of my light bill and it's going to be worth it. I can still be more conscientious about light though. My upstairs neighbor's meter is less than mine. Obviously, I can start unplugging stuff and turning off unneccesary lights. I am just too competitive.

I weighed myself yesterday and am just 4-5 pounds away from my goal of being under 180 by the end of this month. I get so hungry late at night though. I don't know what to do about that. I started off with good intentions, i had my oven roasted chicken plus a huge bowl of salad for dinner. i ended up tossing the salad out because i highly suspected that the tomatoes in it had gone bad. note to self, when making salad ahead of time, eat it quickly or add tomatoes later. in fact, add all wet stuff later. oh well. i am giving up on salads. too cold for it. So ironic, in miami it was too hot so i would eat yogurt parfaits for dinner every night during my first year.

I need dinner and breakfast tips. I am getting tired of eggs and as for dinner, am trying to avoid salad. shoot. i will have to cook tonight when i come home. Unless i can whip something together before i leave today. but its soooooo cold and i don't want to leave my bed. i wonder if my apt will cover the cost of insulating these windows. even with my curtains i can still feel the cold air coming through.

days like these i wish i were independently wealthy.

i feel tired. even my legs are tired.

monday was a crazy work day. i didn't see a lot of patients but i ended up admitting two of them. they were that sick. i sent another home, i trusted her mother to take great care of her. some lady had major attitude with me. told me i was too young to be a real doctor. i told her i was most likely older than her being that am pushing 40 and all and most of my mothers are 3-5 kids deep by 25. not my finest moment but she got my back up questioning me and everything. telling me my job when she was doing a lousy job at hers. shoooooot. yes, i judged her. anyway, i got my comeuppance later on. i guess I should be happy i look ten years younger than my age.

i wonder what this post will be after i edit it later tonight.
still wish i didn't have to go to work.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Back at Monday...

Every morning I set my alarm for 6 am and every morning I do not fully come alive until way past 6, even when I wake up before my alarm clock like this morming. Why? o Why?

This week is going to be an awesome week. I have to repeat that affirmation to myself all day cos this week is a 6 day work week. Argh! I have enjoyed my last two weekends off tremendously, but alas all good things must end.

With the exception of the passing of the Voice, this weekend was a great weekend. I woke up at the crack of dawn as always which is soo annoying. Luckily, I didn't have to spend hours cleaning. I just hung up my clothes, emptied my sink and loaded the dishwasher, ate something for breakfast and finally left the house.

I went to look for my pulls at micheals, and a scale at bbb. No success at any of them but i did walk away with some trim for about a dollar each. I am thinking of jazzing up my boring white lamp shade. I bought blue trim but now am thinking that maybe that's too boring. It is a blue lamp after all. Will have to look online for some inspiration.

I went to the Chinese New Year celebration at the Chamizal National Museum. First of all, it wasn't actually a Chinese New Year celebration, more an exhibition of dances and martial arts. Me and my short attention span, about thirty minutes in, i was ready to leave and i got there about 10 mins late. Sad huh. I fell asleep in the middle but i finally roused myself towards the end, it wasn't that bad at all. Plus it was free. The kids in the audience were cracking me up. There was a little girl on stage that was hilarious, she kept waving to her family in the audience, no stage fright for her whatsoever.

Then i went to Hobby Lobby on the off chance that i would find my pulls and i found them! and they happened to be having a 50% off sale, except I didn't know that at the time and i was incredibly rude to the poor cashier when she refused my coupon for 40% off. She kept saying this is on sale and i was like but it didn't say that anywhere. Classic miscommunication. I thought the price as listed was the sale price. Dang if i had known, i might have made different choices but as it is now i like my pulls and they only cost $4.32 bringing my bedside table to a mere 133 (damn tax!)

I discovered some new blogs and now am re-inspired to get back into thrifting. I never find anything really cool, just cool books. Ok, not true. I found a silver tray at a Savers in Worcester. I have a gold plated tray that I found at a Red White and Blue in Miami, and that same Red White and Blue had a DeLonghi toaster that am kicking myself to this day for not getting. I found a pretty cool ombrish plant pot here in El Paso that is sitting pretty on my ottoman right now. Every time I look at it, it brings a smile to my face. Plus the books and books and books, I've gotten since I got here. I found a pretty recent version of an AAP book that I used to recommend all the time to new parents in Miami. The key apparently is to keep visiting as often as possible. When I think about the shoppers I know, like my sisters, mom, cousin, persistence appears to be the key, visiting stores so frequently that the shop keepers know you and start looking out for you. To that end, I went to a Goodwill near my job after work. I found some cool stuff but the price was killing me - am on a no shopping thing right now after all. Shoot. I saw something similar to this:

source: myevergreenonline.com
But it was $8 and I wasn't sure what to do with it, where it would go. I thought about them on the drive home  and started envisioning possibilities. As a catchall for my future console table which is going to be next to my door. I originally wanted a gold starburst mirror but now am thinking a turquoise starburst mirror instead. 

Or how about on my very bare and in dire need of a vignette bedside table. Or as a finger towel holder for my guest bath.  Shoot, shoulda just bought it! But am supposed to be on a shopping break and so far, I've been SHOPPING! Not with my cash completely but still! If it was meant to be mine, we will come across each other's paths again.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

I get so emotional baby every time I think of you...

I was first introduced to her amazing voice by my mother who brought her tape home one day. I played that album out, in fact, hers was the last voice I heard before I went to sleep every night. 

Whitney, I loved her and eventually I came to know almost every song she had song to date (circa 1992-93, still don't know how because this was before Google, YouTube, ITunes, shoot the internet wasn't even widely accessible yet).  

I remember being so excited for her when she was on Video Soul with Donnie Simpson talking about her soon to be born daughter and the name that she and her husband had finally agreed on: Bobbi Kristina. 

I remember watching her perform on one award show or the other and shutting it down! I was in awe of her talent. She could SING!

You couldn't talk bad about Whitney to me back then. A friend of mine dared to say Sade was prettier than Whitney, I'm still a bit mad at her for that. And when the Bodyguard soundtrack was released, I never forgave my uncle for saying that Whitney ruined "I'll always love you." He simply had no taste because she made that song (no disrespect to Dolly P). Now acting on the other hand...

When I found out yesterday that she had passed away suddenly I was shocked much like the rest of the world. I thought she had won the battle and she was coming back. There is so much speculation and fingerpointing and such and such going on now. I'll admit, I have been guilty of some of it. But at the end of the day, a mother has lost her daughter, and a daughter has lost her mother, and the world has lost an amazing talent. Rest in Peace, and thank you for all the great music. 

Friday, February 10, 2012

Dressed down

I got a thorough dressing down from my trainer last night. He weighed me and let's just say even I was apalled and ashamed. I confessed about my late night predilection for gari and sugar. I didn't tell him about the chicken marsala that I carried home from work and had for breakfast and snack yesterday. Anyway, after our training session which was fun, I went home and threw that chicken crap right in the trash where it belonged. I need to be serious about this. I am giving money I aint got to this. Ooowee. I don't know what it is about late night eating and me. I am very good during the day, except for yesterday. I usually eat a healthy breakfast. I alternate between a homemade "parfait" kashi go lean cereal with greek yogurt, smoothie with a scoop of protein powder or huevos rancheros (basically black beans, salsa and two eggs over easy. I throw it in the microwave and cook for two minutes). Lunch is pretty good too. This week am alternating between a cabbage stir fry over black beans and my curry cauliflower casserole.  But then at night! I just don't know what it is about the night! The funny thing is, I start off with my salad and I am pretty full afterwards but then I start craving. I mean, am not hungry but I want to eat something anything. Insane. And yes am taking vitamins. (expensive pee)

Anyway, I decided am going to earn my keep around this here parts. I made a vow with myself. No more late night snacking and NO MORE GARI with SUGAR. If I can keep that up for 7 days straight, am going to treat myself to something at Sephora/Ulta. If I can be consistent for 30 days then am going to buy my flatware from CB2 that I have been eyeing for about 2 years now. It's on baby.

I really want to break out of 180 pounds by the end of this month and I need to take this seriously.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, February 09, 2012


Yay Thursday!
Half day! and am one step closer to Friday!
Of course, I have a lot of catching up to do today so I don't know if I will actually get to enjoy the half day but just the thought that I will be driving home in the daytime not in the darkest dark has me happy. There has been a  beautiful full moon out the past few days so the drive has actually been nice.

I started this post in the am, and then stopped because I had nothing more to say and I was cold and sleepy. It's now almost 12 hours later and am still cold and sleepy. I am determined to write through the nothing to say phase. Like I heard in a sermon the other day, persistence is about doing things you don't feel like doing.

I am still trying to find pulls for my dresser. The issue I have is that I do not want to spend more than 20$. Am I being super cheap? I went on anthropologie's website and I saw some stuff I really liked but I didn't like the price tag of $8 so much. But it's so pretty and they take paypal. Sigh... Luckily it's backordered until March so that's out.

The quest continues.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Can you hear that boom daboom boom boom baby that super bass?

Yes, Super Bass was the only song I heard during my workout yesterday that inspired me to complete a routine without whining or calling my trainer names. I think I need to make my own workout mix.

I decided the other day to go back to watching what I listen to because the mind is a powerful thing that tends to hold on to whatever you feed it, no matter what that thing is. So I decided to download the sermons I missed from the church I have decided to start attending. Long story short, one of the things that resonated with me from one of the sermons and was echoed today in my devotional is persistence. Rick Warren's specifically says "nothing great is every accomplished without persistence and patience."

I have always been a writer and when I was younger I wrote a lot. Everyday, everywhere. On the bus, while waiting for something, later at work. I wrote in my journal daily. I had scraps of paper on which I wrote stuff. And all that writing paid off, I always had some idea for a fictional tale or two. I may not have finished it, but i always had an idea. When I took writing classes, I was even more productive.

But lately, and by lately i mean the past three years, I rarely write and instead have become a consumer. I tell myself i want to write. I promise myself that I will start writing but to pick up a pen and actually write has been hard. It's so funny. I go to work everyday even though I don't feel like it, and even though sometimes I am sick and should be in bed. And I pay my bills regularly and in large amounts even though i'd rather spend my money on something else. But when it comes to doing that particular thing that makes me me and makes me feel whole and all is right with the world, I tend to put that off forever. I always come last with myself.

The point is, since I've started blogging here, I feel a bit better, a bit happier. It's hard though. Its hard sometimes to get the words out right, well it feels hard. I feel disjointed and all over the place and unstructured. But as I write I remind myself that I will edit later and to keep on keeping on. Anyway, this is why I write and I hope that with time my creativity will reawaken.

Have to go to the gym now. Week 6 day 3 of couch to 5k. Pure murder. 15 minutes of straight running. I can't do it!

Tuesday, February 07, 2012


A tray of succulents as a centerpiece on my countertop or future dining table

My future dining table

This set of silverware from CB2

Some nice crystal pulls for my bedside table

A herb garden.
Mine, circa 2009 Miami.

Monday, February 06, 2012

And the photos!

 My crazy looking art project. Retry!

The curtains. Ignore the unevenness. I have a problem with straight lines.
After. Need more stuffing!

Problem Child! Don't know why the wood wouldn't fit. Will have to try again. 

So going over my bed. So excited about it!
No clue where to put this. Too small for over the tv.

Monday again?

Last week was pretty good for me.

I worked out five times. My goal was six because I thought I had a session on Saturday, turned out I didn't.
I didn't do a good job of eating well though. I hope to rectify that this week, well, starting tonight cos I did soak some garri with sugar at 1am when I couldn't sleep. It kept calling me, calling me, calling me.

I was good about making my bed during the week, but on the weekends not so much.

I didn't empty my sink daily..oops. And I doubt I will be good about this week cos my sink is presently full of pots. I cooked last night: I made a salad for my dinners - red cabbage, lettuce, carrots and sweet bell peppers which I plan to dress up with chicken, tuna or eggs and have for dinner. I had planned to grill some chicken on the grill outside during the weekend but I got caught up and Sunday was so cold that I didn't even bother. I probably won't get home until after dark so I guess I will be using the George Foreman grill instead.

Weekend Projects
I hung up all my curtains. The room looks different, not sure yet if it is blocking out the draft or not. Yesterday was a pretty cold night, I was very tempted to turn on the heat but I thought of that $100+ bill plus the fact that I bought that mirrored chest when I really wasn't supposed to and I didn't. I just pulled on my fleece and hid under my comforter. Hehe.

I did my little art project. It came out really odd. I don't know if it is fixable.

I finally got 2/3 of my canvases stretched. The third one developed some major issues. I did take it with me and it sat in my car for an hour and half so maybe the cold shrunk it cos when I got home all the wood I had measured so well at Home Depot turned out to be way too big! I was perplexed. I might throw that thing in frame if it doesn't behave. For real selector. But the others turned out ok.

I did cook for the week. The aforementioned salad. A chicken stir fry with red cabbage (i had two heads of it! and am trying to stop wasting food. I already spent my food budget on that chest...hehe), bell peppers, tomatoes and frozen vegetables. I plan to eat that with some kind of beans, trying to cut back on my rice intake. I also made a recipe from Eating Well using the cauliflower that I bought last weekend. It was alright, the rice was a bit too soggy (but I didn't fry it as I was told too) and it could stand to be a bit more spicy. However, I didn't have half the ingredients and just used curry instead. I love curry. Makes everything taste 1000 times better.

And I went to church and it was awesome. One thing I have noticed about my walk with God is that no matter what church I go to, I always hear a word that is relevant to my life or situation. The church I decided to go to is doing a series on debt. I took avid notes. Nothing earthshattering really but it was still very useful and I am glad I went. They are starting a women's study group on Sunday afternoons, I signed up for that cos I need to start meeting people.

When I get home I hope to post my pictures. Am at work and my lunch break is almost over. Why do good things end so quickly?

Sunday, February 05, 2012


going to church today. Woke up too late for the 9:00am so I have to go to the 10:30am.
Havent been to church in a long while. Don't know why. Just fell out of the habit. But I need to go out there and connect with God's people. He did say, do not neglect our meeting together: Heb 10:25 NLT. Sigh. I am returning to Life Church. It's right behind my house. So no need to travel too far. There are some Redeemeds here. But they split in two for whatever reason and I refuse to choose one over the other.

Saturday was so so in terms of goals.
I did get my chest after all for 30$ off, am going to buy some crystal pulls and wash it down and put it next to my bed.
I put up my curtains.
Got my wood for my canvas framing but it was too long so am going to see if they will recut it for me
Did my art work. LOL. Looks crazy
Bought a 9$ bag of fiberfill and could barely fill two ottomans. Will have to buy more. Or find a rag store or something.
Today is cook and clean day after church.
Will update this post with photos. My picasa is acting up!

Saturday, February 04, 2012

You really got a hold on me!

Been dreaming all day yesterday and this morning about this:
Pottery Barn Mirrored Bedside Table

West Elm: Low cutout headboard
West Elm: Diamond Tufted Headboard
Ok, the original inspiration from the dream is hotter, hardware makes all the difference. My sister, the best negotiator evah!, told me to ask for 20% off. If they agree, then it might come home with me. Rubs hands with glee. But then, I will need to change my headboard asap from this to this:

Need to get a move on. Didn't realize Home Depot opened at 6am. Woulda been there since. I've been up since 6am. My natural alarm clock doesn't realize am off on Saturday!

 Lots of projects to do today.

  1. Finish hanging up my curtains. 
  2. Stretch my canvas and hang it. 
  3. Fill my Hausa ottomans/poufs.
  4. My little art project
  5. Tidy up
  6. Plan a menu and implement it. 
Not so bad in list format. Off we go. 

Friday, February 03, 2012

We found love in a hopeless place...

Yay, it's Friday at last and I have Saturday off! This is my first Saturday off since the end of 2011. I worked three Saturdays in January, and most of my Saturdays were in a row. So I am super excited about tomorrow. I hope to finish hanging my curtains in my living room. I started but I realized many things, most important of which was my ladder is just tooo damn short. I was on my tiptoes the whole time. So am going to break down and buy a ladder.

Had a very odd dream. There were some other young Nigerian pediatricians like myself in town. Like myself they ended up here because they couldn't find jobs in their home city. Very odd. What are u saying subc?

Had my training session yesterday. He took my measurements. I still have a long way to go. My body fat is still pretty high. Yeah, I need to get my act together post haste cos I am paying way too much for me not to have any significant results. My target weight for the end of the month is under 180. I need to stop eating late night chin chin and raisins. I don't know why i snack at night. Maybe I need more snacks during the day? Anyway, I have the luxury of time this weekend. I will plan and execute a week's menu this Saturday.

Am sleeeeeeeeeeepy still.

Off to the gym.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Satisfy yourself

I keep waking up with random snippets of song in my head. That song is from a reggae mixcd I've been listening to lately so I really have no clue who the singer is.

Moving on.

Yesterday was a great day. I did my couch to 5K training. I am on Week 6 day 2 or three I think and the running time has increased to 10 minutes at a go. Now I don't run too fast. In fact, as the length of running time has increased, I have decreased my speed and right now am comfortable at a pace of 12:45 sometimes 12:30. The first ten minutes were alright. But the last ten minutes? OMG, I really wanted to stop. I had all kinds of justification too, I was going to be late for work. I can complete the work out this evening (total lie, I can't workout in the evening alone for some reason), I will this, I will that. It was hard, but I managed to ignore all those voices. I did give in a tad and reduced the speed for about a minute, but then I continued on. I felt so awesome when I completed it. I was on a high all day long!

I had a bounce to my steps and a song in my heart. Especially when I put on my Express size 10 pants which had been indecently tight as in showing my booty tight, plus part of a camel's foot which had no right to be on my body cos I aint a camel tight, and it fit pretty well with a bit of looseness in the waist. I felt so good! I got to work and weighed myself and I was over the moon. 184.8 fully clothed! Yes. My trainer has told me to stop being so cheap and to get a scale. I might have to go check out Big Lots this weekend.

Anyway, my good mood continued all day. I felt so powerful. Runner's high is no joke!! I felt clear minded, ok not completely. I had to ask my boss questions twice and the second time i was a bit incoherent, cos I didn't want to sound dumb and I ended up sounding just that. Lol. I felt efficient. I felt GREAT. Can't wait to run again tomorrow. I even left work on time despite a last minute addition to the schedule. There was some unpleasant incident with one of my coworkers on the way out but I am going to leave matters to matthias. Maybe I will talk about it or not. But it didn't ruin my mood completely.

It felt good to leave the office and the sky wasn't completely dark yet. El Paso doesn't seem to believe in street lights yet especially on the stretch of freeway that i take home. So I really hate going home at night. It had really added to my depression over the past few weeks but now with runner's high, all that is abolished!

I went shopping at Ross and guess what I found. My curtain rods, the one that had been taken away from me so rudely on Sunday! At first I wasn't going to buy it cos I had my reservations and all. I saw these other ones that were nice but not as glamorous and the diamater was less than the ones I wanted. Anyway, I bought them. Then I kept going. To Marshall's where I found this
Wow, it's pretty similar down to the legs. The pulls were the only different thing. Anyway, it was pretty beatup, missing pulls, a crooked leg. I asked the manager how much they would charge for that and she said it would be 10% off the list price. That put a screeching halt to my vision of it in my entry way with a huge arrangement of faux florals (too dark for live plants) etc. But now am going to be haunted by that table! I want it!! for $50 lol. Am just too damn cheap. OMG, it cost twice as much as what Marshall's was selling it. Damn debt!

Crate and Barrel
I pretty much visited every home store on the strip including target. I want to do my guest bathroom in purple and green, inspired by this soap pump from crate and barrel.

 I was looking for a green shower curtain. I almost pulled the trigger on one but the graphic was too somehow. I like big bold graphics. My favorite shower curtain before I ruined it by washing it is a black and white flower photo from target. I wanted something similar, not a flower but a big bold graphic. I was thinking of green hand towels, plum rugs and then a piece of art like this one on the wall of this bathroom that I saw on BHG.com's website.


I wonder if I can make that myself. I am going to try this weekend and see. This is LONG. Wow. Didn't know I had so much to say.

Off to work. Half day. Yippee!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Ojo Monday

As I opened  blogger to write a post, the song ojo Monday jumped to my head. I mourned my unbacked up and crashed ibook immediately. I have so much music that I've lost. I haven't heard that song since 200something. I didn't even remember who did it which is a damn shame cos am a Fela stan. Anyway, rushed to Youtube to find it. They didn't have it, but there is a band called Ogun Afrobeat that did a pretty decent cover considering they don't even speak the language.

Turned out it's called by its English name: Monday morning in Lagos:

Anyway, all that to say it's Ojo Wednesday and I hope I survive. I worked out yesterday with my trainer. My arms are looking nice per him and me. Am still a bit weak though as in, I don't have much stamina for certain exercises. Anyway, time is already fast spent. I have to go for my jog and yet again I didn't edit my playlist. Why do i procrastinate so!

PS. Turns out that I do have that song, must have backed up at one point.