Skip to main content

Message Got.

I wrote this piece almost 12 years ago now after a bad breakup. I thought it was the worst breakup of my life, little did I know what was coming down the line... ahh youth.


can you imagine/i can't
i can't even begin to put it together
or comprehend how i managed to walk around
with eyes closed.
my clothes were not on me
and the people were laughing
but i could not see and was unable to hear
they were pointing at me
but i dismissed their words as mere manifestations
of envy because what we had was true
was amazing, was the best s..t i ever had
i was only right about one thing.



can you imagine/ i can't
i can't even begin to understand this
even though i am turning it inside out and outside in
it is still so unclear to me
the more i stare through this glass
the dimmer it all becomes
the earth i took for granted
is crumbling beneath my feet
i am afraid to face the world
with this distorted perception
when i look at you, did i truly see you
or was it just an image i created overlaid
over you or was it just me seeing half and not the whole
how many other friends are hiding their true intentions
behind my good sight?

i long to call upon my grandfather's god
ogun the hunter's guide
to have you surrounded, put you in his sight line
21 guns all aimed at you or maybe
you locked down chained down tight
somewhere anywhere

i quick pray to the goodness within me
2 wash these thoughts away
because i will not let you change what i am
it's evident you were in my life for a season
i just can't remember what prayer you were in answer to
so i could not let go until
i was disrespected and thrown out the exit
i get the message now
i get the message now











Comments

Popular posts from this blog

New Week

I feel so accomplished this morning. My weekend was productive for once. I painted my chair and it is finally in my bedroom. The thing is, I underestimated the amount of paint I would need and went crazy with dilution. My first clue should have been that the original pattern was visible under the paint. I filed it down a bit with sandpaper which took off the color. Then, because I ran out of paint, I wasn't able to paint the seat and instead covered it with an old ankara skirt that I was planning to turn into pillows. I was very disappointed with the results, but it's now growing on me. I might leave the ankara like that or change it for another ankara I have. Lastly, I tried gluing the broken leg in place but alas, it didn't work. I guess I had better just buy a new leg for the chair. My next project is to figure out how to stick mirrors into an old painting. I also need to pick up my hall table from the office where it has been waiting for me all last week. I really wi

2013 already!

I can't believe my last post was in November. Despite my good intentions, December was a wasteland in terms of my writing and life goals. I moved to my new apartment, came down with the flu or rather an influenza like illness, and have just been so blah. The cold weather is not helping either. I really cannot stand the cold, it tends to sap my energy. As always, I have a few goals for the new year. I already feel all kinds of stressed because it is already Janaury 4th and I haven't made any moves. I did do one half hearted workout the other day but it was bitter cold. I could actually feel the cold going through my hoodie, my t-shirt, my skin, my bones and grabbing my heart and lungs and squeezing them to death.  I scurried back home and vowed to buy some winter gear. Total mileage 1.6 miles. Yeah pitiful. My goals this year are simple: 1. Get with God and just delight myself in Him. Ps 37:5. I want to be serious about my walk with God this year. I promised myself last

Writing Life

Last time I discussed my writing, I was moaning about how overwhelmed I felt about editing. Well, this past week I stopped whining and consulted my expert researcher Ms/Mr Google - s/he is an hermaphrodite- and discovered a nifty book called Self Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King. This book is so on fire that it impacted my writing before I even received it. How do I mean? Well, I read an excerpt of the first chapter online and realized what was wrong with my own first chapter right away. In a word -well several words- I was explaining too much and not letting the characters live. I was giving all kinds of background and history and what not. A whole lot of info that had me saying in my nephew's voice: "who cares?" I guess the avid reader in me knew the problem all along, but the writer in me resisted deleting a single word. I mean those words were agonized over and carefully chosen by committee. I was loathe to let even one of them go. But I