I got that feeling.

I really love the warm balmy nights we are having in El Paso right now. It reminds me of Miami somehow, minus the smell of the water. The cold bitter nights I used to endure are a distant memory. I hated sitting in my living room because of the frigid air. The warm nights feel so good. I like walking outside again.

The weather change gives me hope. The one thing I have missed about living in New England is the season change. The bitter winter, the darkness, the cold that permeates through you if you don't bundle up, that finally changes into lively spring, the small buds on the tree, the smell in the air, the light. You don't get that in Miami.

My hope is being built up again. I know that just like the winter has passed into spring, I will also pass into a new season of joy, and the loneliness and frustration I feel right now will also be a distant memory. In the meantime, I have promised myself to be content in this season. To be grateful for the life I am leading right now. To enjoy myself right now and not wait until whenever, my debt is completed, my weight is down, etc. To be kind to myself, for real be kind, and not just promise to be kind and never follow through. It is all so simple, yet so hard to do. It's much easier to complain and whine and be swallowed in self pity than to just simply live. All I can do is try.

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New Week

I feel so accomplished this morning. My weekend was productive for once. I painted my chair and it is finally in my bedroom. The thing is, I underestimated the amount of paint I would need and went crazy with dilution. My first clue should have been that the original pattern was visible under the paint. I filed it down a bit with sandpaper which took off the color. Then, because I ran out of paint, I wasn't able to paint the seat and instead covered it with an old ankara skirt that I was planning to turn into pillows. I was very disappointed with the results, but it's now growing on me. I might leave the ankara like that or change it for another ankara I have. Lastly, I tried gluing the broken leg in place but alas, it didn't work. I guess I had better just buy a new leg for the chair. My next project is to figure out how to stick mirrors into an old painting. I also need to pick up my hall table from the office where it has been waiting for me all last week. I really wi...

Writing Life.

So, it is day 16 of this NaNoWriMo thing, and I am happy to report that I am still here. Writing away. Last night was a good night. I came to the page with great reluctance, confused and sleepy and distracted but once I got into the groove, I got into the groove. I even surprised myself. At the end of the night was at 26058, and I added 3000+ words. Are those words any good? I don't know. I will deal with that at the edit stage. I found this cool writing tool called Scrivener . Actually, I read about it on one of these NaNo pep talk letters. At first, I was like why would I need a tool for writing a novel, like I couldn't get it. But then I actually read about the features and I got it. What got me was the fact all my scattered word files could be stored in one place. So I have been writing this novel separated into years instead of chapters, with the major characters telling each year from their view. I would put each year in their own file and then after I edited, woul...

And the point is...

Whoa, life got busy there. Crazy week. Good for business but not good for my me time. Sometimes I wish I could breathe think dream medicine, then I wouldn't resent it for taking all my time from me. It always seems to come first, takes over, and pushes everyone and everything else out. Sigh. But all things must come to an end, and just like that *snaps fingers*, its Friday already and here I am waiting for my flight to Vegas. Wish I were going for pleasure, I have a work conference to attend. Nevertheless, am excited a bit. I have never ever ever been in Vegas, flown over Vegas, driven through Vegas or even looked at Vegas. I was supposed to go with a co-worker but due to drama and shenanigans, am going by myself. I am kind of happy about that, cos I was kind of dreading going with this person. But, at the same time, this means I really have to get out of my shy mode and make an effort to visit a place or two on Sunday. I was thinking of maybe thrifting but am not sure. Speak...

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