formerlybostonchile

Just like that, ob- gyn is over. We had the exam last week, the oral and the written. Unlike the trauma that was the internal medicine oral (i spit on the memory), the ob- gyn oral was so much better. I walked into that place like I owned the place. I was the doctor, I wasn't the student and I acted accordingly. I deferred to no one and spoke like I knew what I was talking about. Of the seven stations I had to go through, I only lacked confidence in two of them, I kept saying to the standardized patient, I am not sure, I will look that up. Funny thing was though, that I did have those answers right. I hope that does not count against me. I had encountered two of the standardized patients before during the internal medicine exam. The one I encountered first during the ob- gyn exam was the last one that i encountered during the IM exam. By the time I had gotten to her station during the IM exam, I was so discombobulated. When I told her my name, she gave me this look and lat...

Amazing how time just flies! I am beginning week 5 of my ob-gyn rotation and not a moment too soon. I am so through with where I am posted. My greatest worry now is who is going to evaluate me? I do not feel like I impressed anyone at all with my skills. Some of it is my fault i guess. Maybe I should have done more surgeries or something. Some of it is the way the practice over there is set up. Most of the docs want you to follow them around like a faithful lap dog. A few actually let you talk to the patient by yourself and do some portion of the exam. I give props to all the women who let me do their pelvic exam. (minus one lady. She was rather odd. She had the flattest expression I had ever seen. I wanted to ask her if everything was okay at home, at work, with her cos she was depressing me. She allowed me to do the exam but I noticed that after I messed up, homegirl cheered up, a lot! Maybe i'm just too sensitive but she is suspect. ) So let's see what were my goals of this...

Just finished the oral exam of my fourth rotation. I can hardly believe it. I am two rotations away from finishing my third year. Where does time go to? Sha , it's not been easy. I failed my first rotation exams - the oral and the written. I am still in shock myself but I have finally come to accept it. Also, to recognize that failing it does not mean that I am a failure. But, I must admit when I heard that news in October, I went into depression. Well, a mini-depression (ironically, I was doing my psych rotation at that time lol ). I stopped working out and everything. I got even more anxious than I am already, and I am an anxious person. But with time, I now understand what I did wrong. #1. I missed the memo that the exam was past board questions. I did not find this out until a week before the exam. #2. I spent my time studying from the wrong book. #3. I left my notebook with all my notes in Boston! How stupid huh! I didn't find it until after the exam. In fact, I think this...

i am trusting God with everything that i've got i'm trusting God with all my dreams, my hopes, my joy i'm trusting God with all my fears, my hates, my insecurities the pain at the pit of my stomach the tears rolling down my cheeks all of my failures, all of my doubts i'm trusting God through this night that has lasted six long years with only a moment or two of sunshine to help me endure the months and months of dark O Lord I'm trusting You through my doubts I wonder if You hear, I wonder if You care I wonder what Your plans are I wonder if they include my joy Sometimes I whisper a lie - You must hate me Then try to cover it up with the truth - Romans eight But I return to that lie again and again When You won't let me get my way Why won't You let me get my way Lord What is wrong with my way? What do You see that i don't? And why won't You share it with me? So I could be at ease, at peace But I guess that's why it's called trust The alternati...

Somehow I've become a writer who can't seem to bring herself to write. Okay, so to answer a question posed by bijouxoxo ten thousand years ago. Is possible to work and attend medical school? My biased answer is hell no. Do it at your peril. Medical school is all consuming. It's a jealous beast that wants the student's mind, heart, time, life. That's my word. There's just so much to learn and so little time in the day. Medical schools are trying to improve quality of life by shortening class hours but nevertheless we still spend at least 6 hours per day in class. Enough analysis, let me break it down but keep in mind that every school is different. First Year, first semester: My courses were Anatomy (time consumer), Biochemistry, Genetics, Nutrition, Physicians Patients & Society (PPS, discussing how to be a doc, ethics, customs, etc, luckily only once a week but two hours long, in the afternoon), Longitudinal Preceptor Program(LPP; follow a doctor for 2 yea...

is my birthday. I find myself unable to do much with myself, despite the large amount of reading and studying i have to do. I feel rather down, to be honest. I try to focus on all the things that i have to be happy about - they caught the man who wrecked my car (imagine that); despite my fears, third year has been very doable i am alive despite myself... i am med student, a dream finally realized. i am sure there is more but none of these things are making me my usual jolly self. maybe i'm tired. i need two days off. one to really truly do nothing and have no guilt, and the other to do all the stuff i have to do. sigh. more in a moment.

I passed my boards! I am so happy! To be honest, when I walked out of that exam, I was sure I was going to have to retake it. Allelujah (imagine Fountain of Praise singing that word on their song: I can't praise you enough. better yet, go hear it for yourself here .) i am so ecstatic!! Even better, I have the weekend off. I think i will be checking out the brand new heavies after all. oh yeah, third year is going fine. lots of work though, and i get so nervous about speaking in front of people. but i really adore my team. plus i admire my pgy-3 resident a lot, she is a firm and assertive woman. when i see her, i think to myself, i can do this! no room for shyness. in a minute. pgy=post graduate year.