Skip to main content

been a long time...

i am trusting God with everything that i've got
i'm trusting God with all my dreams, my hopes, my joy
i'm trusting God with all my fears, my hates, my insecurities
the pain at the pit of my stomach
the tears rolling down my cheeks
all of my failures, all of my doubts
i'm trusting God through this night
that has lasted six long years
with only a moment or two of sunshine
to help me endure the months and months of dark
O Lord

I'm trusting You through my doubts
I wonder if You hear, I wonder if You care
I wonder what Your plans are
I wonder if they include my joy
Sometimes I whisper a lie - You must hate me
Then try to cover it up with the truth - Romans eight
But I return to that lie again and again
When You won't let me get my way
Why won't You let me get my way Lord
What is wrong with my way?
What do You see that i don't?
And why won't You share it with me?
So I could be at ease, at peace
But I guess that's why it's called trust

The alternative would be to walk away
Not that I don't do that already
But I love You Lord and i can't keep away
Even though You drive me mad w/
The piecemeal way You reveal my story
I know it will be all good in the end
with years of light to make up for the years of dark
with days of laughter to make up for the nights of tears
But Lord God, my beloved Dad
Must I go through the pain to get to the sweet stuff
I promise I've learned all my lessons
I promise, I promise, I promise
Please just take away the pain!

february 8 2k7 @PVHS
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ojo Monday

As I opened  blogger to write a post, the song ojo Monday jumped to my head. I mourned my unbacked up and crashed ibook immediately. I have so much music that I've lost. I haven't heard that song since 200something. I didn't even remember who did it which is a damn shame cos am a Fela stan. Anyway, rushed to Youtube to find it. They didn't have it, but there is a band called Ogun Afrobeat that did a pretty decent cover considering they don't even speak the language. Turned out it's called by its English name: Monday morning in Lagos: Anyway, all that to say it's Ojo Wednesday and I hope I survive. I worked out yesterday with my trainer. My arms are looking nice per him and me. Am still a bit weak though as in, I don't have much stamina for certain exercises. Anyway, time is already fast spent. I have to go for my jog and yet again I didn't edit my playlist. Why do i procrastinate so! PS. Turns out that I do have that song, must have bac...
Post a Comment
Read more

working and the medical student.

Somehow I've become a writer who can't seem to bring herself to write. Okay, so to answer a question posed by bijouxoxo ten thousand years ago. Is possible to work and attend medical school? My biased answer is hell no. Do it at your peril. Medical school is all consuming. It's a jealous beast that wants the student's mind, heart, time, life. That's my word. There's just so much to learn and so little time in the day. Medical schools are trying to improve quality of life by shortening class hours but nevertheless we still spend at least 6 hours per day in class. Enough analysis, let me break it down but keep in mind that every school is different. First Year, first semester: My courses were Anatomy (time consumer), Biochemistry, Genetics, Nutrition, Physicians Patients & Society (PPS, discussing how to be a doc, ethics, customs, etc, luckily only once a week but two hours long, in the afternoon), Longitudinal Preceptor Program(LPP; follow a doctor for 2 yea...
2 comments
Read more

We found love in a hopeless place...

Yay, it's Friday at last and I have Saturday off! This is my first Saturday off since the end of 2011. I worked three Saturdays in January, and most of my Saturdays were in a row. So I am super excited about tomorrow. I hope to finish hanging my curtains in my living room. I started but I realized many things, most important of which was my ladder is just tooo damn short. I was on my tiptoes the whole time. So am going to break down and buy a ladder. Had a very odd dream. There were some other young Nigerian pediatricians like myself in town. Like myself they ended up here because they couldn't find jobs in their home city. Very odd. What are u saying subc? Had my training session yesterday. He took my measurements. I still have a long way to go. My body fat is still pretty high. Yeah, I need to get my act together post haste cos I am paying way too much for me not to have any significant results. My target weight for the end of the month is under 180. I need to stop ...
2 comments
Read more