formerlybostonchile

Sorry I've been absent. Had a few things on my mind lately, mainly a bout of recriminations and self accusations. For some reason, all my past mistakes were playing in HD in my head and I was seriously down on myself, searching myself, wondering if my response at the time was right. This mind of mine tends to remember the things that are long forgotten by others, while forgetting the things I need to survive the day to day. But I digress. I wondered if these thoughts were condemnation from the devil who is known to accuse the brethren over and over again of sins already forgiven and forgotten by the Lord God, or conviction from the Holy Spirit for me to search my heart and repent of my sins. I am still not clear. I keep hearing love covereth a multitude of sins , and I know that that is my weakness. I am too quick to write people off, too quick to anger, too slow to forgive. I've been hurt so much that I tend to over react sometimes to prevent myself from being taken adva...

I finally bought a console for my entryway on Ebay.  I have never bought furniture from Ebay so I was a bit nervous. The furniture arrived in good time but I was unable to pick it up until two weeks later. I put it together only to find the thing was wobbly and uneven. At first i felt burned, I could not return it since I had missed the return deadline. However, I contacted the seller and to my great surprise, he was very helpful. I sent him the pictures and he sent me a replacement stat. In fact I think I contacted him last Sunday, sent pictures in the middle of the week and I arrived home Monday to find the replacement awaiting me. All I could say was wow. Contrast this with the treatment I've received at some stores here in the ELP. Since I've been here, I've endured more insults than I've ever had in my life, especially coming out of Boston, which is forever famous for being a racist town. The first time was when I was shopping at my favorite g...

Gosh, am in a Bob Marley mood today. No idea why. I actually left my house last night, and did not go to a work event or shopping. I went to a poetry slam downtown. Am trying to feed my inner artist and all that so I can break through to the other side of this writer's block. Anyway, it was fun. I couldn't stay to the end and I came late but I enjoyed what I heard. Am mad at the judges though. I don't know what they were doing, giving my favorite pieces lower than usual scores. Which truthfully, is not that big a deal cos the scores were average 9.5 out of 10. I loved every minute. I can't wait to go back again. The bassline on Concrete Jungle was my soundtrack home last night. Top down on the highway, heaven! I can't find the version I was listening to, but enjoy this one.

There's a praise That lives deep in my heart And it says Oh Lord I love You I am blessed When I think of Your goodness to me It comforts me daily But there are times in my life When things don't work out right And my burdens are heavy And there's no joy in sight Put my eyes back on You For You've always come through And with this simple refrain I will bless You, bless You Lord You've been Good to me You made the way I could not see Your love came in And lifted me And now, I won't complain Through the years You been there To dry my tears There is not A closer friend Than You Oh Lord You have been So good to me More than this world could ever be I really want to thank You Lord I won't complain Lift my hands Give You praise in the midst of each storm 'Cause You are worthy When life's sorrows and heartaches rush in I will remember (You are still worthy) Let the words of my mouth Leave no room for doubt Because down through the years You've be...

I gained weight!!!! I know exactly where I went wrong. Let's see, it was the halfhearted workouts, the incessant snacking, the outside eating, that last one messed up my calorie bank and my financial budget. Still, it hurt to get the usual speaking to from my personal trainer. I needed to hear it, and it's precisely why I am paying him. It's too easy to lie to oneself, you know. To say, well, i gained a pound, it's because it's that time of the month. I gained five pounds, well my pants still fit so it doesn't really matter, or the ultimate, i gained 10 pounds, what's the use, let's just give in and eat that cake. (oooh cake, i love cake but I digress). Anyway, I am determined to get back on track. A pair of Gianni Bini shoes are at stake here, and also these neon Target wedges . I am taking my jogging seriously, even doing the ultimate no no for me, working out in the evening. I hate evening workouts on my own. I always find an excuse not to part...

My sisters and mother have great style. Even better, they always manage to look great on a budget. When my sister  told me that her outfit today cost only $62, I had to share.  She is no joke when it comes to getting a good deal, in fact, she guided me through negotiations for my nightstand from Marshalls earlier this year .  Skirt: Limited $8.99 . (Originally $59.90, final reduction  14.99. I snagged it  when they were doing a 40% off store wide promotion.) Blouse: Limited.  $12.99 (Originally $24.99, I got it for  12.99. I was actually pretty upset because I had missed getting it  just a few days prior when the store had its 40% of sale.) Shoes: Boutique 9 . $39.99. I have been begging her to blog about her wonderful clothing deals but she just ignores me. Maybe this post will encourage her. 

I just found a new show that I am about to become hooked on. ABC's Scandal. I love LOVE Kerry Washington. I was sad that the premiere was on Thursday night, my night clinic night. But fortunately for me, ABC has the two first episodes online! I watched one of them last night instead of sleeping, and wow. I love it. I can't wait to go home and watch the second one today! I am almost tempted to get DVR for this show.

I really love the warm balmy nights we are having in El Paso right now. It reminds me of Miami somehow, minus the smell of the water. The cold bitter nights I used to endure are a distant memory. I hated sitting in my living room because of the frigid air.  The warm nights feel so good. I like walking outside again. The weather change gives me hope. The one thing I have missed about living in New England is the season change. The bitter winter, the darkness, the cold that permeates through you if you don't bundle up, that finally changes into lively spring, the small buds on the tree, the smell in the air, the light. You don't get that in Miami. My hope is being built up again. I know that just like the winter has passed into spring, I will also pass into a new season of joy, and the loneliness and frustration I feel right now will also be a distant memory. In the meantime, I have promised myself to be content in this season. To be grateful for the life I am leading right n...

I was determined this morning to work out, and not do my fakeout workout either. A fakeout workout as I define it is when I go to the gym with all plans and promises, and then get lazy and get off the treadmill after say about a mile, 1/2 of which is usually spent walking, slow.  Today, I got real with myself and ignored all mutterings and whinings same as my trainer ignores me when I complain and cry. I set a goal of around the block 3 times which translates roughly to 3 miles. It was painful and I walked and my feet hurt and my legs ached and it was dusty. But I made it. Slow as a camel trekking through the hot desert sun but I made it and I felt so proud of myself. I have been high all morning. I cant wait to do it again!

I feel so accomplished this morning. My weekend was productive for once. I painted my chair and it is finally in my bedroom. The thing is, I underestimated the amount of paint I would need and went crazy with dilution. My first clue should have been that the original pattern was visible under the paint. I filed it down a bit with sandpaper which took off the color. Then, because I ran out of paint, I wasn't able to paint the seat and instead covered it with an old ankara skirt that I was planning to turn into pillows. I was very disappointed with the results, but it's now growing on me. I might leave the ankara like that or change it for another ankara I have. Lastly, I tried gluing the broken leg in place but alas, it didn't work. I guess I had better just buy a new leg for the chair. My next project is to figure out how to stick mirrors into an old painting. I also need to pick up my hall table from the office where it has been waiting for me all last week. I really wi...

I went natural in the spring of my first year of college in 1993. I was inspired by a friend of mine who had transitioned from a perm to wearing her hair without chemicals, I make that distinction because she still straightened her hair daily and never ever wore it curly. I didn't have a big chop or anything like that, I just stopped perming my hair, and let all the permed hair fall out. This was before the internet and Amazon even so I had no clue what to do with my hair. I just threw it in extension braids  and that was that. I hated braiding my hair though so as much as I could when I was out of  my mother's clutches, I would leave it out. Now, because I thought natural hair was strong and could take anything, I abused my hair. At the time though, I didn't realize I was abusing it. I combed it all the time and went to bed with it loose and free.  I loved washing it but then it would take me about a week to get it soft and then it was time to wash again. My regimen at...

I just discovered an amazing way to clean the tub. I discovered it on some random website during my many many marathon surfing nights. I typically hate cleaning my tub. I thought I found my way around it when I discovered Method daily shower spray. It smells so amazing and it really keeps soap scum at bay. But, of course am not consistent about using it daily. I'll be good for about a week and then fall off woefully. Anyway, my new trick is Mr. Clean or its dollar tree equivalent. I cleaned my tub with it and it works. My dollar tree equivalent is of course a buck, and it's not as firm as mr. clean and is probably only good for one tub wash but it works! It's so easy! Am in love. Another wonderfully simple solution I found is for my chair. I just discovered it last night on Mr.Goodwill Hunting's blog. All this while I had been sweating this amazing wing chair that he had on that site, black with plaid accents. It looks very expensive and I figured he bought a chair an...

Wow. This year is already in the fourth month, the second quarter of the year! ARGH. Father time, I beg, there is no need to rush. Or maybe it's just me because 24hours seems compressed into 2hrs and the day is done already with none of my many goals accomplished. Last week, I was very ambitous, and I very ambitiously did not complete a thing. I made a plan to walk/jog 3 miles daily, write almost daily, work on my novel blah blah etc etc. Of course I accomplished maybe 10% of that, but nevertheless, it is well. I have a new week to start all over and get it right. I know I will be able to do more with my time once I get out of my habit of excessive net surfing. I did promise myself no more gossip blogs last week, and while I haven't been completely cold turkey, I have managed to cut it down to about maybe ok, i did cut it down sha, no need to quantify. LOL. At least am not reading it second thing in the morning anymore. My major number one problem is procrastination! If I...