Friday, March 30, 2012

I just want to be close to you...

So the plan for this week was to do 6 posts.
Of course, I immediately fell off. I really don't have much to blog about this week. Just trying to keep my head above water, and my spirits high.
I really hope to get some writing done this weekend, as well as some cleaning. I know one thing for sure though, no more shopping!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Gongo aso...

I had the oddest dream. It's already fading away now, but somehow, I was a child again, in charge of a lot of children. I was supposed to be asleep but wasn't. I am not sure what I was doing. When it was time to wake up, i gave my charges a lecture about how i was tired of doing everything. I had to go to school but i wanted to stay in bed and sleep.  I was tempted to but then i remembered I had a quiz and I couldn't skip. Really odd. Somehow, I came back or woke up and the children had fixed the space we were staying in and it looked very nice. They had made all the beds. I usually only have time to make one before it's time to ?go somewhere, ?do something. I said it was an odd dream.

I am still in bed. Should have been awake at least an hour and some change ago. But I couldn't wake up and fought my alarm clock bitterly. I kept telling myself, just turn on the light and you will wake up but I didn't want to. I finally woke up when some random random called me looking for some random person. I told the deaf random that "he wasn't here, it was a wrong number" and she replies "but when is he coming back?" You see why I called her deaf? Guess she only paid attention to the first part of the statement.

Of course I am tired because I went to bed late last night. I came home late for whatever reason. And for whatever reason, after eating my dinner, I sat on my couch and looked at my budget and debt. My second favorite thing to do. I am serious. I looked at my balance and I cried because it had somehow dipped hard. I thought everything had been paid out but I was a bit wrong there and i had been a bit too free these past weekends. I can really spend a good hour or more just looking at my debt and trying to configure ways for paying it off faster. The debt spreadsheet has a thousand notes and plans. The funny thing is, no matter how i add here and subtract there, the time to be debt free remains the same.  And it will not change unless I get an extra infusion of cash, obviously, my spending like a mad woman (for me o,am sure others spend on one shoe what i have just spent in 3 months) is not helping my cause but like I have said, I am tired of deprivation. It feels somehow to work so hard and all your money goes straight to your bills. My biggest desire is to have an apartment I am proud of, filled with things that make me happy. I am not justifying, just stating facts.

The thing is I should have spent that time working on my novel. I am seriously dragging my feet on that. I am very good at procrastinating, am telling you. I should get paid for that. I kept hearing my story though in varying forms last week so I should get to it. Even if it never sees the light of day. It's been 7 years already.

My bedtime came and went and still I sat on the couch. So I got up and washed my dishes and pots and cleaned my sink. And decided to set up my patio set. Then I finally went to bed. So even though I feel tired now, last night wasn't a total bust. Just that the time wasn't spent on the right things. Now, I am justifying.

Off to work I go.

-the title is for my ringtone which woke me up.

Monday, March 26, 2012

some song that refuses to make itself known

So, the weekend was a bit of a let down. I couldn't for the life of me find the Las Cruces Farmer's Market. I made it to the address listed on the website without issues. I was a bit worried because it said it was downtown and the area did not look like a downtown at all. It was in a very residential looking place, with trees and houses. Anyway, I kept driving, looking for farmers and things until I almost ended up back on the highway. All I kept seeing were masses of baseball players. Finally, I parked and walked around. Yup, my contacts were not deceiving me, the place was filled with baseball players. As it turned out, the address was for the community center. I walked in and the guy directed me down the street. He said, "drive down, all the way and you will find a parking lot filled with them." I followed his directions to a t (ok maybe, i went elsewhere first to look for an ATM, I am a cashless person, and in my haste to leave ELP on time, i forgot to stop at an atm and my GPS had me going in circles. Finally, i just stopped at a random supermarket and did cash back.)

So, i followed his directions to a near T, and still nothing. I gave up and drove on back home. Well, first I checked out a consignment/vintage store called Fabulous Finds. The store was really nice and clean and smelled good. It had some nice stuff but not my console table. Their prices were a bit above my humble budget but they had some decent pieces. If I ever decide to go back to the farmer's market, i might drop in again.

Since I was closer to the Westside of El Paso, I decided to drop into Helen of Troy factory store known for hair products and OXO! I wanted to get a palm brush for my sink. My kitchen is completely open and is the first thing you see when you walk into the house. I hate having my soap and sponges just out like that. At the same time, i am not that good at putting things back in their places as my sisters can attest so putting the soap under the cabinet was not the perfect solution. I had seen a glass soap dispenser at Kirklands, along with some cute throw pillows. But at 9.99 and 12.99 respectively, i hadn't been willing to pull the trigger. I am always afraid of being impulsive in my shopping so i wait. Unless i know the price already and i know that the price before me is a good deal then i go for it. Or if i have been searching and dreaming then i just do it. Oherwise, if i stumble upon something that i wasn't thinking of acquiring before i stumbled upon it, i am more reluctant to buy it. The prices at Helen were soooo not outlet store prices. It was barely different from Target prices. So i kept it moving. But I did spend money there. I finally bought a soft bonnet hair dryer (which makes me think of the miraculous hair straightening machine on movie The Help) and some hair accessories.

I ended my day at Pier 1 and World Market. I found my patio rug for 20$ at World Market. It was blue and white and ikat. But hey, it was $20 and stylish. So I bought it without second guessing myself. I was in a rush so I couldn't browse to my heart contents but I was beginning to realize that the pillows at Kirkland's were a good deal. I mean I knew that but i was being Miss Ijebu. Is that racist (tribalist, ethnicist, culturalist?) Ok, i was being mad cheap. I ran over to Pier 1 and had multiple heart attacks. I don't know how they do it, having World Market right next door when their stuff is similar and cheaper. But their stuff is still nice! Anyway, i was in a rush because my trainer had rescheduled our training session to Sat and it was getting dangerously close to that time.

After my training session, which was good, I had dropped to 28.6% bodyfat from a start of 34.something, and bad, he made me run outside in the hot sun, (only in america would u pay someone to kill you). I ran to Kirklands, bought my glass soap dispenser and of course the pillows were gone. I mean ravaged. I mean, the display case was empty whereas it had been neat and full on Thursday. I never learn.

My third alarm is going off, so off to the gym i go. My second alarm didn't even make an appearance today. have to find out what its issue is. And i hate my first alarm cos it has no snooze button but for once i am on target with my early morning goals. I have more to say. But I think this is enough.

I did wake up with a song, and it's playing in my head as i type this but i can't discern the lyrics and i don't know who sang it. All i know is it's a nigerian male singer. Only me.

Pictures to come, maybe.


Saturday, March 24, 2012

You hate the fact that you bought the dream when they sold you one...

Of all the songs I heard yesterday, it's the one I didn't care much for that I woke up with in my head. I don't even know the lyrics and kept making them up in my head, actually switching it back to the original line. LOL. Had to look it up and listen to video several times while writing this post. Does it count? I actually liked Drakey drake when he first came out, but now all his radio songs sound just alike. But what is my own? It has made him a superstar abi with millions of fans and money.

Anyway, yay the weekend! I went on a mini shopping spree on Thursday and Friday. I don't know what my issue is sometimes, I am on a BUDGET. Obviously, it means nothing to me. LOL. Tired of being in deprivation mode jo. But I digress.

I went to Walmart looking to buy my succulents but of course, the Wal-mart near my house let me down as it always does. That place is just big for nothing jo. I saw some at the one next to my job, perfect size, looked great. perfect price. I didn't buy it at the time for whatever reason my reasonable self came up with.

But I went to dollar tree to pick up just a dust pan o, and maybe the tulips for my project, see here. Anyway, I walked out 13$ lighter, damn tax. I found these cute crackled flower pots that am going to use for my herb garden. (Clap for me, I picked white instead of blue). Some zen garden thingies that i thought the tray would be perfect for my succulent idea.  So, I had to have my succulents that night to see how they would look, and since the Wal-Mart at work was already behind me, I figured the walmart next to home would do fine since they all carry the same things. My mind was like, remember the half dead live christmas tree you bought from there, that place does not take care of their plants o. But no, I had to have those succulents today as in NOW.  And they fulfilled all my expectations by not having my stuff. Not even my indoor outdoor rug that i needed for my diy moroccan patio rug. But I found this super cute alarm clock for 3$. 

In adding the photos to the post, I somehow lost a paragraph. I was going on about finally receiving my silverware from CB2 (my reward for being gari and sugar free for 4 weeks), and my bedside carafe which i got cos the silverware was $10 bucks cheaper than I thought it would be. Sigh. It was such a nice paragraph, am going to miss it.

Anyway, my second, now third, alarm clock is going crazy out there. I am going to the gym on time today for once (maybe not), and then on to Las Cruces Farmer's market to see what I can see. I hope it's not a big fat disappointment. The reviews are somehow, some praising the place, some saying it's not a farmer's market at all.


In case you care, the actually song i woke up with was: it's my birthday and i'll cry if i want to, i can lie if i want to, you know. only me.


Friday, March 23, 2012

Mo gbono fele fele

To think just 0.75 miles of a run and I feel great again. Until I went to work that is, but I will not discuss that here. Even though I really want to do so. But suffice it to say that maybe I should follow through on that e-mail my little sister sent me months ago.

Friday at last. Why am I not excited?  I am going to start listing things to be excited about to get myself all pumped up.

Am alive, so I can still make decisions
I have the weekend off
Farmer's market Saturday
My clothes are fitting better
I am finally getting over the congestion and cough

I just went through my mint.com account. Oooh wee. Almost had a heart attack because I thought I was spending way too much on shopping. But after re-categorizing a few things here and there, it looked more reasonable. Still, why do i have to go through all that???? Why can't it recognize the categories automatically? Note: still spending way too much for someone supposed to be on a tight budget. But not as bad as it made me look.

Anyway, thanks to that wake up call, am still not going to pull the trigger on Target's take of my Parson's dining table and chairs. But, I am getting that patio set, do or die, this weekend. I envision my patio with that set, and a Moroccan inspired rug similar to the one pictured in my cravings. I found a DIY tutorial for it. It looks super hard, especially for someone challenged with straight lines like me but I just need to do it very slowly and patiently. I was thinking of doing the rug in a black and white, with the rug itself black and the pattern white, I think that will tone down the turquoise a lot, verdad? And because am incorporating orange into every single room, I am going to put an orange lantern as the centerpiece. I bought one for like 5 bucks from Homedecorators.com. Will it actually go together? Who knows. Will see when it gets here.

To recap for the one visually oriented person reading this (aracoughmide):

+

so unfair, the other colors are on sale...
+

Meanwhile, my chair is looking at me looking at it on a daily basis. I need to get going on that project very soon.

"mo gbono fele fele bi amala to jina. don't hate me cos i'm hotter than u." yay, the music is back! 



Thursday, March 22, 2012

Cravings

CB2 Smart glass top console table
Target Patio Set. 
West Elm Square Parson's Table
Home Decorator's Moroccan Trellis Rug


I had a patient yesterday who was down and out. Nothing was wrong, but he just felt so tired every time he thought about his life. He was in a word, bored. All work and no play whatsoever. I could actually relate to the poor thing even though he was barely out of his tweens.  I feel the same way, hours and hours and hours at work with nothing to look forward to at night IS depressing. There just has to be more to life than working all day long, every day. Hmm. I tried to tell him about delayed gratification and all that but even I wasn't buying it.

The funny thing is when i do go somewhere I can't wait to go home. I went to a dinner last night about a medication and goodness me, i was done, ready to be home after the first five minutes.  I know it's because am an introvert, and having to be on for more than 8 hours just drains me. I hate talking, I hate smiling, and I hate being outgoing. But I love kids and I hate being in debt so there you go.

I am trying to get out of El Paso this weekend. Nowhere too far because I didn't plan well in advance. I told myself last month that i want to travel out of ELP every month. January, it was Lagos. February it was Las Vegas, and this weekend, am choosing Las Cruces. It's literally an hour away and I am only going to the farmer's market but at least I won't be in Texas. That's the main objective. I am over the whole I don't want to travel alone crap. I was reading about a new google service that helps you find the lowest fare ticket from your destination to a destination. Of course, my cheapest choices are boring places. I really do need an adventure or something to lift this fog.

Maybe I just need to start working out again like i used to do. That was the best drug ever.

Still don't have a song... the music has died in me.


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I think it is pretty amazing how quickly one can fall out of a habit.

I haven't been able to wake up at 5am like I used to do, maybe the time change + this damn cold, and so everything has fallen out of order. No workout. No breakfast. No lunch. Sleep late. Rinse, repeat.
Hmm. Am pondering on that one for a minute.

So what do I need to do to get back on my exercise kick? It doesn't help that the weight is dropping off anyway, since I am not eating. Although, I did, might have, maybe overindulged a tiny bit this weekend. Am not telling!

I thought the horrible lunch I had yesterday will kick me into gear. It certainly made me not want to eat dinner last night, but at the last minute I started starving. BUT I didn't give into gari and sugar. Am too proud of me. I actually ate my baby carrots, which were sweet and refreshing and made a tuna tortilla wrap. LOL. Don't ask. It was all I had in the house. I really need to go food shopping.

Actually, I have some random random that I threw together the other day. Cabbage, chicken, and tomatoes. It was really good. Don't make that face. LOL.  That will be my lunch for today.

So my chair, I saw this divine fabric at Hobby Lobby but by the time all is said and done, I would have to spend $60 for the fabric.It was really really nice though.  I should go visit Joann's Fabric and see what they have, and for how much.

I also finally return my library book to the library. Do not ask. And I did not read that dumb book either. I don't know why, even in the midst of my boredom, I couldn't get past the first page. I don't think I gave that poor book a chance. Anyway, they do have some upholstery books, ironically all at the branches closer to my house so maybe this weekend, I will find the library, pay my fine (scream) and take out the book and start studying this thing.

I also think that I will stain my trunk and make a seat for it. Just don't know what color yet. If I had skills, I want a black top with bright white piping with tufting. Oooh, I found a simple DIY. All I need is a staple gun. But am not going to be able to do piping. Hmm.

I tried to write yesterday. I know there is no such thing as a block and I should write through it, but I couldn't get into the groove. I know what needs to be done to get it done. I just need to do it.

I don't even have a title. I haven't been waking up with a song in my head these days...





Monday, March 19, 2012

Get it together...

Ok, I have been using this illness as an excuse for far too long. I haven't worked out in a week. I haven't written in my blog. My house is a disaster area. My fridge is empty. I need to get it together. Get off the couch. Get out of bed at my normal time of 5am and get my act together. And all this starts today. Am making a list right here, in the hope that I will be motivated to actually accomplish it.

It's a simple list too.
Clean
Cook
Hang up my paintings
Return my library book and get a book on upholstery
Write.


I need to stop online window shopping and focus. I did find my console, well something that will do for now, on Amazon.
Amazon.com

I am finding it hard to pull the trigger though. In the meantime, I have the vase for said console. Found it at Marshall's on Friday. It was on clearance for $10. I passed on it, along with the lamp that would have been perfect for my bedside table but I felt I was being impulsive in my spending. Anyway, I couldn't get it out of my head so I went back Saturday after work and writing. The lamp was long gone, for $20, I didn't think it would still be there but the vase was still there, along with this shower curtain that I loved even though it does not fit the style of any of my bathrooms. But it was so rich looking, I had to get it. I had better buy my console before I lose that too huh?

I did finally watch the Downton Abbey that everyone in internet land has been talking about. It was interesting, and I finished the whole first series this weekend. I had just come off being addicted to In Plain Sight, a show based in New Mexico about a US marshall working for the witness protection program. So it was an interesting contrast.  I am finally putting netflix and my appletv to great use at last. Now I need to find more shows to watch to justify my 8$ a month expense.

Alright, I am procrastinating. Off to clean.







Wednesday, March 14, 2012

What a week

What a crazy week last week was, I can't believe I fell ill. Unfortunately though, each time I think am better, another symptom comes and rears its head. Now my stomach is complaining and it's not cos am hungry.

I worked out with my trainer yesterday and I had to rest between each set because I felt exhausted. I fell asleep on the couch like at 8ish and still overslept this morning. I guess I won't resume my morning jogs until the end of the week, maybe.

And I'm working this weekend. Argh!

I think some retail therapy is in order. I deserve it anyway, most of my work pants are sliding off my hips. But knowing me, I will probably shop for the house instead.

Projects for the week:
Bathroom: Hang up my new piece of art. It looked better on the site but i still love it. Just $4 bucks after all is said and done. I got a poster frame from goodwill for $2. I was thinking of buying some gray or black posterboard and using that as a backdrop for the piece. I need to get one more rug for in front of the sink and i can mark that space complete.

Mah chair: Measure for yardage. I think I found the material I like at Hobby Lobby. Am excited. Search for tools. Strip it!

My novel: Complete my outline this week. Do or die. Maybe I will do the Starbucks thing this weekend and go write there after work. There is one right next to my house too. I need an artist date! ooh, I know, I will go see poppies after work on Saturday. So apparently, it's the 31st. Well no fear, am working that day too.

Time is fast spent. Off to work I go. Wish I could take a sick day.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

Weekly meditation.


"And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.” --Jeremiah 29:7


This verse really struck a chord with me when I read it. Moving to El Paso was not my first choice. All throughout residency, especially that last year, what sustained me was knowing that soon, I would be done with hard work and poverty and I could finally enjoy the beautiful city of Miami. The sun, the beach, the sun, the beach!



But this was not to be for me. As graduation approached, I searched 
high and low for a job. Interviews were scarce, and the few that I went on had fierce competition. I went on two or three interviews where I was certain I would for sure get the position, only to hear that the position had gone to someone else. Needless to say, I felt rejected. I couldn't even mourn publicly because my friends were the one getting the jobs that I so wanted, to mourn for me, would be, I felt, seen as envy for them. It was hard and I cried many a night. I wondered why God was not answering my prayers. I despaired as I wondered how I would pay my bills. I felt so much shame. Then I got this job in El Paso. 


El Paso is not Miami. It is not sexy, glamorous or even warm! It is far! Far from my family, my friends, from civilization. In short, I felt exiled. I felt chased out of town. I have had moments of deep sadness and loneliness out here. There are times when I am like, this is where I ought to be, but then there are other times when I look up and I wonder how do I get out of here stat! 


So reading that verse was for me a word from God. I was not to resent this city, or be slipshod about my work while steadily searching for an exit strategy, but rather, I am to dig in, pray for peace at my job (and my job was a dramaful zone for the first few months), prosperity for my employers which will definitely trickle down to me, and in general the good of this city. 


I am here for I don't know how long yet. But while I am here, it shall be well with this place, my job and with me. 


Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. --Psalm 126:5 NLT

Saturday, March 10, 2012

My chair

So I found an advert for my chair from a texas paper in 1988. It cost $180 rounded off.
Maddox wing chair. Supposedly in today's dollars, that's about $360. Don't mind me, I'm trying to calculate the acceptable cost for reupholstering said chair.

That explains that...

So all this time I was calling myself a lazy so and so, and wondering how I could fall asleep while taking out braids, my poor body was battling the flu and possibly strep throat. O ga ju. Everything came to a head on Thursday with fever, chills, body aches et al. I even got sent home early on Thursday. I could barely drive home, I cursed myself again for not following my decision to live close to work, the twenty miles to my house felt like 40 and I felt a bit delirious so I couldn't drive at my usually breakneck speed of 80mph but a sedate pace of 60.

Because I said I would, I went back to work on Friday even though I felt like pure unadulterated garbage. Didn't even feel like eating either. Of course, I got into it with one of my patient's mother. Her poor child had viral pharyngitis and I told her so but she insisted on antibiotics. Ay dios mio. I know if I wasn't sick, I would have been more patient. But my throat was on fire, my legs were barely holding up and my nose was running, plus i felt kind of blind because my glasses kept steaming up so I may have been a bit rude. Not my finest hour!
I should have stayed home! This sense of obligation to everyone but myself must cease! Anyway, Friday was a half day as well, so I gathered my energy and drove home again and took myself to bed along with Candace Bushell's book: Lipstick Jungle. I drifted in and out, in and out. But finally, finally, the fever broke sometime this morning. Still with the damn congestion but at least my throat is no longer on fire.

So much to do! This house needs a fumigation. My car. Everywhere is a mess. And I have a ton of notes to write this week. Ay dios mio! I still have to figure out my chair situation. And lastly, i have to do my bible study homework, and cook. I am tried just writing all this nonsense. The bright spot is that I finally get to pick up my shoes, they have been waiting for me all week. Hope they fit!

Monday, March 05, 2012

i whip my hair back and forth...

I went thrifting the other day at a Goodwill store that has everything except furniture 50% off. It was the same one I dashed into before I jumped on my flight last friday. The same one I found my arm chair.

The armchair was still there, and now the cashier told me that even furniture is 50% off, making that chair 15$$$. Am soooooooooooooooo tempted. I have been searching online all last night (instead of cleaning) for DIY upholstery. It also has a leg broken and I wonder if I could fix that.

Mehn, am still thinking about that chair, I think that if I go back tonight after work and it is still there, then it's on. I am taking it with me. And then I have to fall back because I have gone a bit crazy buying stuff lately, with all the shoes i've been eyeing and buying. Actually, am going to return one of them because my foot couldn't even fit. It's just as well. I didn't realize I had spent so much on said shoe! I guess am a typical woman because I had subtracted oh like 15 dollars off the price. LOL. Anyway, it's going back. I already printed the return label and everything, it's going back today!

Now that am slowly getting down in size, i am trying to upgrade my work wardrobe and shoe gear. I wish i could wear heels to work but am too spoiled and hate pain so not yet.

Ok, so I started this post on Friday morning and just now getting back to finishing it. I am slacking already. This week will have to be better, I promise!

In short, I went back on Sunday for my chair. It was still there but unfortunately, not 50% off, like the lady said. I was excited too because the same lady that attended to me on Thursday was there on Sunday. However, the signs clearly stated everywhere that furniture was not 50% off, so I knew I couldn't try to scam her. LOL. But, I think I am done thrifting for now. I need to fall back for a minute. I am spending too much money these days. Yes, it barely breaks the bank at max expenditure of $30 bucks and lowest expenditure of maybe $5 but it adds up. Plus, I have finally found a reliable website and the startup cost for reupholstering is a big chunk. Am not sure if I am going to make out well in the long run, since I don't know the original cost of the armchair.

We will see.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Told y'all i was gonna bump like this...

Time is moving swiftly along. March already!! Wow!!!! Am not ready!

Since I got back from Vegas, I've been dragging. I literally come home and go straight to bed, although last night I finished the latest Elizabeth George Believe the Lie and then went to bed. I couldn't put it down actually, I think this is one of her best works yet and I think I have read almost all of them. I mean most of the time, I can usually tell where a novel is going to end but this had so many plot twists and turns that I wasn't sure what was going to happen. It was really well done. Some of her books have actually been made into movies but as much as I love the characters and I cry for them and with them, I just couldn't bear to watch it on screen. In fact, I generally don't like watching movies made from books I've read, unless it's a frothy light book and even then I get mad when they change stuff around.


So yeah, i've been dragging and my house is an untoward mess. Yes, I had to quickly look up that definition to see if i was using the word right. I think i am. It's a disaster and 3/4 and my cousin is coming in for a brief stay on Monday. I am a bit stressed because I work long ass hours and I have to get my guest bath ready now! I made all sorts of lists but am so tired that the thought of shopping is not even moving me at all.

I did find a great remedy for my artwork of the other day. It's an awesome solution and I can't wait to try it out sometime this weekend.